You're Eating BUGS!

Cochineal Bugs Invade My Yogurts!

When I was 10 years old, some kid offered me a dollar to eat a bug. I became a dollar richer that day. No, I didn't eat the bug, I kicked the kid in the dick and took his money. Eating insects and other nasty shit wasn't my idea of fun back then, and now that I'm a 23 year old man, it still isn't. But there are deceptive assholes out there allowing the public to devour their products, in which bugs are an actual ingredient, and they don't even have to tell us about it. That's where I come in.

Some artificial colors in the products we consume have been said to cause personality disorders in children, or make some people ill. Because of this, some companies have decided to go back to a "natural" way of tinting foods, drinks, and even some cosmetics. They are using the Cochineal bug, a little critter that has been used to make red dyes since the days of the Mayans. These little bugs are boiled to death, dried, and then the remaining shell, the natch, is crushed to make your strawberry Yoplait that 'cute' pink color. The pulverized bug remains can also be found in products from Ocean Spray, Dole, Sobe, Tropicana, Jones drinks, Robitussin Cough Drops, and many other brands of ice cream, candy, juices, and so on.

Some people may say, "So what. It's just a bug", but even if you don't find it fucking disgusting, there are also other things to think about. This bug can induce Anaphylactic shock in people who are allergic, and that can cause breathing problems, rash, swelling, and more. I would also be extremely pissed off if I was a vegan, obliviously chowing down on dead insects. The FDA has ruled that companies can use this method of coloring their edible products without telling you exactly what you're eating, but they have to list the color as carmine or cochineal extract. The color has also been listed as crimson lake, and natural red.

Just for the record, I was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, and I grew up on Faygo Red Pop. I am throwing one back as I type this. The Faygo Red Pop contains Red 40, and Red 40 is a red food coloring that is BUG FREE! Check your labels, people, if you don't want to be sucking down bugs in your next cup of yogurt. REVIEW: RED 40 does NOT contain bugs. CARMINE, COCHINEAL EXTRACT, CRIMSON LAKE, and NATURAL RED ARE BUGS!! THEY'RE BUUUUGS!!

I'm Rex Delaney, and don't say I never did anything for you.